I wrote and recorded this tiny EP completely alone in my bedroom, mostly in the tiniest and quietest hours of the night. My intent in writing these songs was to return to the organic way I used to find refuge in songwriting. Recently the business of it all has muddied the process for me. Because making a record with a band that sounds really good and makes business sense means depending on a lot of other people, it also means a lot of waiting and wondering. My past year has been spent largely waiting on labels, producers, studios, band scheduling, money, contracts, lawyers, etc, and wondering if I would ever actually be able to release the album I had been working on so relentlessly. It can all feel a bit disabling and unfortunately, pretty uninspiring. I found myself unable to write for most of the year because of it. I was afraid to write, in fact, because if I wrote a song and liked it, I knew I’d want to share it with you and that would mean starting all the waiting and wondering process again. So I didn’t write for a while, and of course, it didn’t make me happier. Music has always been what I turn to in times of despair and depression, and so it felt especially awful for it now to be the cause of these feelings. I spent a lot of time reminiscing to years ago before I had any knowledge of the business of music, back when I’d just write songs all night to escape into a different world. I wanted to go back to that, and eventually saw no reason not to. I dusted off my old $10 mic from Best Buy circa 2005, held together with three kinds of tape and some hair bands and covered with a dirty sock (wind guard). I gave myself assignments and wrote, thinking of the songs as throw-away songs because it made it easier. I joined a songwriting group to get yelled at if I didn’t turn in a song every week. I allowed myself to write short songlets without any big statements, just little unassuming and freestanding verses. I didn’t have to like them (in fact, better if I didn’t). I just had to write them. So I ended up with a handful. I stayed up many nights playing with them: re-amping guitar parts through my MacBook speakers into my crap mic, playing prerecorded Garage Band synth parts on my computer keyboard, layering 50 guitar parts one note at a time, and singing singing singing. And there. I felt it again, the saving that writing music can do.
It’s in this spirit that I share these songs with you. They are not opuses. They are tiny little things that kinda saved me. They don’t make a ton of sense. They sound like crap. You can hear my dog in the background because he’s often behind me when I record. You can hear my roommate opening the bathroom door. You can hear click bleed and all kinds of phasing and terrible audio stuff that I don’t even know about. But they are done, and that’s something. And I’m sharing them, and that’s something too. You can have them for free if you want, or you can pay whatever you'd like. There’s no manager or label or publicist or anything involved. Just me singing in my bedroom like I've done forever, straight to you without waiting a hundred years.
Thank you for listening.
released May 4, 2015
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